I've always had a big hang-up about the description/goal for the Godly woman of a "gentle and quiet spirit." When I first heard these words tossed around, I was a junior in high school and at about the furthest I've ever been from a gentle and quiet spirit. I remember the first person I thought of that depicted such qualities was Susan Wadley, my youth pastor's wife. At the time, she had long flowing blonde hair, piercing eyes, a soft-spoken voice and a humility that put most of us girls to shame. She sought after the presence of God, prayed with her husband (often caught in the act by nosey high schoolers) and was sweet to every one she met. Even several years later, my friend Laura described her as "not of this world" when we encountered the infamous Mrs. Wadley as we were each preparing for marriage.
Since then, Susan remains at the top of my list of gentle and quiet women, even though I did eventually come to find out that Susan is also a passionate woman, who works hard for the Kingdom and obviously has a lot of chutzpah for gathering her family and moving to South Africa to serve the oppressed in the heart of the AIDS pandemic.
Today, Chris' series on Ephesians continued with more of that ugly "s" word as he unpacked the roles and responsibilities of wives and husbands. What stuck me most was at the end of the message when Chris' wife Anne joined him at the podium to pray for the wives and marriages at King's Harbor. As she was praying, my mind started wandering on to the passage in I Peter 3:4 that Chris had read from moments before:
"but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God's sight is very precious."
I realized today that this phrase was used in the context of marriage and Peter was actually exhorting wives to be gentle and quiet in the ways we relate to our husbands. Gentle and quiet looks different in each woman and is displayed differently through each unique marriage. God wants us to focus not on outward things that make us attractive and pleasing to our husbands, but on incorruptible and intangible traits that are formed in the depths of our souls and make us pleasing as the bride of Christ as well as our earthly husbands. Peter was describing the inner beauty of the Godly wife who submits ever so gently to the husband that loves her. True submission in a marriage is not an action without warrant. Rather, it is a re-action to love, protection and responsibility received from a husband who cares for her. A woman can be as expressive, bold and as intelligent as God created her to be. She can be celebrated and included for the unique ways that her Creator designed her to be. Her gentle and quiet spirit, is just that - the spirit - that is behind her words, her actions and her attitude. It is a spirit that rises from the pursuit of eternal things.
The way God designed marriage when looked at through the lens of Christ and the church makes the term "gentle and quiet spirit" much easier to get my mind around. The church is more effective when it is a gentle and quiet force in the community, helping her husband, the Savior of the world, carry out His leadership over the Kingdom.
Sunday, July 16, 2006
Saturday, July 08, 2006
The S Word
This weekend, Chris is going to be teaching on the topic of "mutual submission." That ugly word just doesn't seem to go away. I've had the privilege of participating in a few conversations lately on the subject and what it comes down to, is the concept itself, totally designed by God is a beautiful thing. It's the actual word that causes stomach turning, lumps in throats and hot flashes. Especially in newlywed circles, this becomes a hot issue. I'm sure in the next few weeks as we progress through the book of Ephesians, submission between husband and wife will be unpacked a little deeper, but for this week, it's simply the idea that all of us, the entire body, are to be mutually submitted to each other.
In my effort to find another way to phrase it, I went straight to the thesaurus. There, among synonyms were several that I can't picture God having in mind (i.e. passive, backdown, bowing, cringing, docility) were a few that I thought were a little more palatable. Here are my favorites ranked in order:
1. Yielding
2. Servility
3. Surrender
4. Acceptance
After picking my favorites, I decided to look them all up in the dictionary and was disappointed by their definitions. This to me, was a reminder that the world looks at relationship much different that God intended us to.
When Paul opens up his letter to the Ephesians, he clearly addresses "the saints who are in Ephesus and are faithful in Christ Jesus." Clearly he is addressing a group of people who believe in the risen Christ and are doing their best to follow Him. He encourages them to "submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ" The Greek word "submitting" in this context does not refer to being under the absolute control of another but, in this context, to voluntarily placing oneself under the authority of another. At 5:21, Paul sums up how living a life filled by the spirit manifests itself in community and then he transitions into the next section on how a community of believers should relate to one another.
It seems that most of us, especially women, come to a screeching halt when we hear the word submission because we start to feel the oppressive force of "the man" above us. I am convicted by this beautiful and often overlooked description of how to love one another in a Christ-like way.
In chapter 5, Paul begins by exhorting the Ephesians to be "imitators of God." I believe he means to love in an unearthly way that is beyond our human capacity. Here is the Suzie Standard Version of how Paul is describing relationships that are marked by love that is an extension of the way God loved us with first:
1. Imitate God. Follow the Rabbi. Get caught up in the dust of His feet.
2. Walk in love as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us (who is doing the submitting now?)
3. Be sexually pure.
4. If you have to justify your speach with "just kidding" a lot, you should probably rethink your communication skills.
5. Say thank you a lot.
6. Don't compare yourself to each other, it only leads to sinful thoughts and actions.
7. Speak the truth in love.
8. Now that you walk in light, make sure you distinctly stand out from darkness. Be in the world but not of the world.
9. Try to do and say things that you know will please God.
10. Confess your sin out of secrecy because it's the only way it can be overcome.
11. Watch how you walk - Do you display wisdom of a follower of Christ?
12. Don't let your energy, vitality and drunkenness come from things of this world but of the Holy Spirit that bears much fruit.
13. Speak to each other with psalms, hymns and spiritual songs. Speak God's word.
14. Say thank you a lot.
In my effort to find another way to phrase it, I went straight to the thesaurus. There, among synonyms were several that I can't picture God having in mind (i.e. passive, backdown, bowing, cringing, docility) were a few that I thought were a little more palatable. Here are my favorites ranked in order:
1. Yielding
2. Servility
3. Surrender
4. Acceptance
After picking my favorites, I decided to look them all up in the dictionary and was disappointed by their definitions. This to me, was a reminder that the world looks at relationship much different that God intended us to.
When Paul opens up his letter to the Ephesians, he clearly addresses "the saints who are in Ephesus and are faithful in Christ Jesus." Clearly he is addressing a group of people who believe in the risen Christ and are doing their best to follow Him. He encourages them to "submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ" The Greek word "submitting" in this context does not refer to being under the absolute control of another but, in this context, to voluntarily placing oneself under the authority of another. At 5:21, Paul sums up how living a life filled by the spirit manifests itself in community and then he transitions into the next section on how a community of believers should relate to one another.
It seems that most of us, especially women, come to a screeching halt when we hear the word submission because we start to feel the oppressive force of "the man" above us. I am convicted by this beautiful and often overlooked description of how to love one another in a Christ-like way.
In chapter 5, Paul begins by exhorting the Ephesians to be "imitators of God." I believe he means to love in an unearthly way that is beyond our human capacity. Here is the Suzie Standard Version of how Paul is describing relationships that are marked by love that is an extension of the way God loved us with first:
1. Imitate God. Follow the Rabbi. Get caught up in the dust of His feet.
2. Walk in love as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us (who is doing the submitting now?)
3. Be sexually pure.
4. If you have to justify your speach with "just kidding" a lot, you should probably rethink your communication skills.
5. Say thank you a lot.
6. Don't compare yourself to each other, it only leads to sinful thoughts and actions.
7. Speak the truth in love.
8. Now that you walk in light, make sure you distinctly stand out from darkness. Be in the world but not of the world.
9. Try to do and say things that you know will please God.
10. Confess your sin out of secrecy because it's the only way it can be overcome.
11. Watch how you walk - Do you display wisdom of a follower of Christ?
12. Don't let your energy, vitality and drunkenness come from things of this world but of the Holy Spirit that bears much fruit.
13. Speak to each other with psalms, hymns and spiritual songs. Speak God's word.
14. Say thank you a lot.
Friday, July 07, 2006
Vacation all I ever wanted
Steve and I are looking forward to a much needed vacation next week. We haven't gone on a vacation alone since our first year of marriage. This will be the first time that we have left our kids for this long or the baby at all for that matter. The anxiety I am feeling about leaving the boys is over shadowed my the necessity of going away and simply having fun together. I'm looking forward to sleeping in, walking to Starbucks, reading and running out of things to talk about.
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